Deception caused by our biases

‘You should always believe your clients,’ said the counseling-training professor to the trainees, ‘and you should always disbelieve them. ‘ What does this communicate to us? We are always challenged about what to believe and when we should doubt. What is your experience in your family? Do you find it easy to believe what the members say, or does it leave you doubting? On some occasions, deception has contributed to the breakdown of relationships or missed opportunities to change. Consider this passage from the Scripture, ‘ Is not this the carpenter’s son? Isn’t his mother called Mary? And are not his brothers James and Joseph and Simon, and Judas? And aren’t all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all this?’ And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, ‘Prophets are not without honor except in their own country and their own house’” (Matthew 13:55-57). Why did these people deceive themselves that they knew who Jesus was? Why are we always surprised by the new reality? There is a tendency to prefer familiar grounds because we feel safe. Blair Hensen (2022) says, “It is all too easy to confuse familiarity with safety. Too often, it seems easier to stay in a pattern we are familiar with than explore it and create change.”

CALISCO invites you to decide not to hold fast to familiarity, for it can lead to deception. This means being ready to explore what you did about your family members. Some have missed the opportunity to grow because of our biases about who they ought to be. Thus, CALISCO focuses on reminding each other of the consequences of deception. We can overcome this challenge by seeking the true knowledge of our family members.